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Love and Friendship
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Love and Friendship
True love is honest
Honest love is
faithful
Faithful love is consistent
Consistent love is
loyal
Loyal love is real
Real love is for me.
(written by Angela Diane Poch)
I've been told I wear my heart on my sleeve, and that's probably true. I think honesty in all things is the best policy, especially with friends.
My best friends are the friends who are willing to share what they think even if we don't agree on that subject. It is a pet peeve of mine when people are worried about offending me or me offending them. That is not to say I don't appreciate kindness and encouragement, but rather the fear you can say something "wrong."
Love and friendship can and will endure hardship, pain, and trails. It does NOT avoid them if it means avoiding the friend. Friends realize true love accepts conflict as a gift to grow, be loving, kind, and tolerant. They also realize criticism as a gift, I rebuke those I love... sound familiar?
In high scholl my best friend was a German, I was Italian, she was a Mennonite, I was a Seventh-day Adventist, she love girly things, I was a tom boy, she did poor in academics, I did well, she did well in domestics, I did poor. We were VERY different, and yet our friendship lasted through it all. What we did have in common was our love for Jesus, add pure honesty and loyalty and you have a solid, unbreakable friendship.
Many people want friendship without the honesty. They want smiles and hugs, with no conflict or pain or trials or misunderstandings. I firmly believe this is unchristian. Jesus taught us true love in 1 Cor 13.
Our friendships should be able to withstand misunderstandings and yes, until willful hurt. It is honest and leaves no stone unturned to woo each other. I recently had a conflict with a friend over some work I did and they "interfered" with. I told them I felt what they did was wrong (they of course thought they were right). We resolved to agree to disagree, I did not accept what they did was right, but they are still my friend. I have no anger (I was upset at the time.), no desire to avoid them, or do things without them. This is loyalty! It is extremely important in friendship. "We are to learn to be loyal to one another, to be true as steel in the defense of our brethren." Heavenly Places, pg. 178
Why don't more people have a loyal friendship? Why do people give up on each other when they get hurt? I think people have a misunderstanding of friendship. People expect others to never hurt them. To always be nice, to smile & hug and say only good things, to notice them and be friendly, to call when they have news. They are down a very dangerous and deceptive road when they thing like this. Satan says, "If they are a real friend, they would never hurt you." That is a partial truth, and a partial truth is a lie.
The friend I mentioned in the above conflict did hurt me. BUT that was NOT their intention. They did what they perceived to be right. I must accept that, whether I agreed with the action/decision or not. What if the tables were turned? What if I had done something to offend them, would I not want them to understand my perspective. So, neither I nor them really apologized because an apology was not needed in that sense. We simply explained our point of view to each other and accepted it as that.
Of course there are times we do need to apologize, but if you don't receive one from a friend remember, they may not think they've done anything wrong. Are you willing to have a friendship under Christ? It is a big commitment. Let's forget the childish, superficial friendship Satan offers, and dive into a long lasting, tough friendship that will make it though the tough times a head.
God bless,
AP
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